Saturday, February 15, 2014

Some Thoughts on Myself

You know what? I'm a real pain to deal with on matters liturgical. I know I take a difficult position with the liturgical reform. Take tonight's example: basically, I rather aggressively asserted Professor Kwasniewski's criticisms of the new Lectionary (found on NLM)  in a way that, well and rightfully so went over rather poorly. Why was I so aggressive? For what I find (so take it somewhat with a grain of salt for I am a poor judge of myself) to be a good reason, that the Consilium of Paul VI on the liturgical reform took source material (in this case the Ambrosian lectionary for Advent), kept something of it, and then jettisoned the rest, bearing no continuous relation to any one source and then for its defenders praising this or not even caring to admit it. Sometimes I just don't shut it, or I don't think that particular adjectives are just not appropriate when describing the Sacred Liturgy or priests...gah.

I in my position here on this earth cannot handle this, for I am a sinner, and I find that the older Roman liturgy reinforces the amazing, that the Word became flesh, and dwelt among us. That He gave Himself in the perfect and total sacrifice so that we might have eternal life after living on earth, working towards with Him towards Heavenly perfection and participating in His Passion, Resurrection, and Ascension as we go on our own way to bear witness to the Light of men.

In contrast, I find the new form to be at the whim of the celebrant. The texts and the preaching say one thing, but the music, practices, and ars celebrandi say another. The liturgy is God's actions not ours. No one will usually disagree with this, but it seems to be the practical reality in the Church today that we beat up the Novus Ordo with whatever we want to do to it.

As my good friend has told me more than once, always after a particularly frank comment, "Tell us how you really feel Matt!". Truth is one thing, aggressiveness is another.

But please pray for me. Pray that I might be an attentive and careful server at Holy Mass tomorrow. Pray that I might surrender to His Holy Will, which is Love and Mercy and forget the polemics of today's ecclesiastical politics. Just leave me out of all of it! I just want to do what I need to do, and not be concerned with anything more! Pray that I might be graced with eloquence and care in my words, that I become the son, brother, and friend (and eventually husband) I am supposed to be, and above all that I always increase in faith, hope, and charity as my my heart is replaced by His Most Sacred Heart.

And I shall remember my readers in prayer as well. I need to make that more of a thing. Sorry for the rambling too. I'm a bit frustrated with myself, and I also prefer to be as discreet as possible when discussing things that happen with other people. So my stories are confusing. That happens in person too.

Ad Deum qui laetificat juventutem meam.

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